Crookshanks to the rescue
by Tanith Bri
Summary: How Ron and Hermione got together with the help of a certain smart and witty cat...through his POV of course. R& R please. The fifth is now up!! And hinting a new couple not yet seen in fanfiction!!
1. Default Chapter

Crookshanks to the rescue  
  
By: Tanith Bri  
  
***  
  
Not much was happening that day.  
  
Really, it was a real bore.  
  
I was sleeping, this was my 34th nap I think, on a comfy cushion, in the common room of course right next to a warm and cozy fire, don't ask how I lit it. Pigwidgeon, who wouldn't shut his little beak and kept on ranting about how pretty Hedwig was, was locked inside one of Neville's chests upstairs. I could still hear him chirping like a tone-deaf soprano wannabe psychopath though, but hey, I just ignored him.  
  
I know I was mean, but hey, I'm Crookshanks, the one that tried to eat Ron's precious Scabbers who was really a short bald guy that was scared of his own shadow. He still hates me I reckon.  
  
So, not much really happened, yawn, yawn, yawn..  
  
Little did I know though, that I was about to earn Ron's eternal love and respect. Really, it was about to happen.  
  
So, there I was, lying in my cushion, warmed by the fire, my whiskers twitching with satisfaction. I felt nothing could go wrong that day. I spoke too soon. The moment I began to dream about me as an anthromorphic fisherman that just caught a 500-pound bass, and my best friend was Salem from SABRINA, this horrible noise, truly horrible, broke the peace and shattered my eardrums.  
  
I heard the Gryffindor portrait slide back, you know, the one with the old fat lady in pink, and it was painfully accompanied by the clopping of shoes against stone and the shrieks and giggles of insane school girls.  
  
I was very annoyed, not only did they ruin a good nap and dream, they impaired my hearing. I could only growl fiercely, and I slinked away upstairs, hoping to catch forty winks again, when I saw above the head of hair and butterfly clips, the bushy hair of my master. I smiled, whiskers twitching again, and I walked on my four paws towards my master, Hermione Granger, resident nerd, brain box, genius and best friend of Harry Potter and Ron, and rubbed my fur against her leg. I wanted her to notice me and soothe me on her lap, she was the only quiet one in the damned room.  
  
She didn't take notice as she joined the girls, Lavender, Parvatti, Ginny, and Angelina, the school chatterboxes, on the floor in a circle, talking at a hundred miles per millisecond.  
  
I took another approach. I let out a pathetic mew and meow, and then purred as I rubbed against her side.  
  
Finally, she took notice when she turned and saw me.  
  
Oh finally.  
  
" Hey Crook." She said smiling, as she picked me up, finally, and put me on her lap, finally, and scratched behind my ears, finally. Is there an echo here??  
  
Okay, so now I had peace. Problem: I couldn't sleep because the noise removed the drowsiness from my brain and replaced it with wide awake-ness. I envy the orange fat tabby, he sleeps all the time. Since I couldn't sleep with nothing to do, I could have used Pigwidgeon as a Koosh ball, but he was upstairs in a locked chest.  
  
Darn.  
  
So, out of plain boredom and the desperation for something to do, I listened in on the girls' conversation.  
  
Lavender: Girls, I am just, like, so excited!!!!  
  
Parvatti: I know what you mean Lavvie!!  
  
Lavvie?? These girls are weird.  
  
Angelina: Oh yeah!! In a few days, the big one is coming!!  
  
Ginny: Yeah, the moment of truth.  
  
Lavender: The test of true womanhood.  
  
Parvatti: the ultimate test of womanly moxie and guts..  
  
All together except Hermione: THE SCHOOL DANCE!!!!  
  
The school dance?? That was what they were all excited about?? These girls are really weird. And I do mean weird.  
  
Lavender: I have to fix my hair!!  
  
Ginny: Get a new dress!!  
  
Angelina: And just look our best!!  
  
Hermione: Oh please!! It's just a school dance!!!  
  
Everyone turned to her, shocked. Even I was shocked. I've never seen Hermione so upset, not since she made Harry and Ron believe that McGonagall dismantled his ( Harry) broom, new one duh.  
  
Lavender: Blasphemy!!!  
  
Parvatti: How could you say that??  
  
Ginny: Yeah!! Why Herm!?!?!  
  
I looked at her face. Hermione seemed very upset at this point.  
  
Hermione: IT JUST IS OKAY!!!!! GET OFF MY CASE!!!!  
  
I jumped off her lap, no duh I was scared to death by her almighty roar. I looked up at her from my crouched position on the floor and noticed that her face was beet red. The other girls were only staring at her.  
  
Angelina: Okay..Hermione..DMY.  
  
She just let out a cry of frustration before storming off to the girls' dormitory.  
  
What is wrong with her?? Is it her menstrual cycle acting up again?? I have to find out.  
  
So, I raised my bushy little tail, and uh, tailed off right after her.  
  
TBC 


	2. Chapter 2

Crookshanks to the rescue  
  
***  
  
Exhausting.  
  
That's what it was, exhausting!!!  
  
I hate climbing stairs right after hairballs and Pig. Why did Dumbledore bother?? Oh, but I had options. I could: a) have someone carry me to Hermione, b) don't bother going to her at all because who cares anyway, or c) turn back into the human I was once and freak out a bunch of girls because I'm naked.  
  
I didn't mention it right?? I'm an animagus. Really, I am all of you non- believers. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be talking right now, right?? Yup. My real name is (please don't tell anyone this because it's classified and because I'll scratch the bloody hell out of you if do) Lance Le Barbe, once a handsome and dashing freelance photographer and most wanted bachelor on Witch Weekly, now a rough and simple feline. How did I end up this way?? I had a tiff with my ex-girlfriend, Pearl Hara. She caught me off-guard and turned me into a stinkin' cat!!! Life is cruel.  
  
Oh, finally, the top of the stairs. Yay!! I came, I saw, and I climbed!!!  
  
I strutted down the corridor, to the girls' dorm and to Hermione's. When I arrived, the place is VERY bare mind you, barely anyone in sight, Hermione was lying on her stomach on her bed and reading a really thick yet pocket- sized book. Okay, what could she be reading now?  
  
I quietly crawled, like a mouse, geez, I made myself hungry, towards her poster bed. I seated myself down, and put on the " mewl and meow and purr" act again just to catch her attention. It succeeded without a doubt because as soon I did my last purr, she turned to me, and looked down at me. I put on a good face. " Hey there Crookie.." she said softly as she bended over and picked me up from the floor. She gave me a hug, a tight one, before settling me on her lap, and scratching me behind the ears. Oh, this feels good.  
  
I looked up at her, wrinkling my nose, and saw that she looked sad, a far cry from the previous frustrated look she had. I mewled, and she just smiled down at me. She was obviously hiding something; I could see it in her eyes.  
  
She just let out a sigh, a long one, and lazily scratched me. Okay, something is definitely wrong with this woman. She was staring at something, in front of her, with a dreamy-eyed look. I turned to the direction she was facing and saw the book she was reading. I could only see the cover though, looks like she either finished it or she planned to continue it. I lengthened my stubby neck to see the cover, and my jaw dropped.  
  
The book was something I could never expect from Hermione.  
  
Midnight Masquerade.  
  
I wasn't kidding.  
  
I know Hermione's mom loves reading this, but her!?! This was a ROMANCE novel!!! The only people I know who could ever read that were...  
  
*Ding! Ding! Ding! Idea!!!*  
  
I realized why she was reading it.  
  
A smile formed on my thin lips, I now know why.  
  
She was in love.  
  
Hermione Granger was in love. STOP THE PRESSES!!!! I cannot believe my no- time-for-romance master has FINALLY fallen in love!! Exciting!! But, the question is: who??  
  
Crookshanks' list of possible candidates:  
  
Harry Potter  
  
Neville Longbottom  
  
Ron Weasley  
  
Dean Thomas  
  
Seamus Finnigan  
  
Draco Malfoy  
  
Draco Malfoy?!?!?! I must be losing my head!  
  
I must find out!!!  
  
***  
  
When Hermione let me go to study for Arithmancy, I slinked myself to the one place where guys would definitely meet, the Great Hall.  
  
Quiet as a mouse, I'm still hungry I realized, I found my way to the hall. Knowing boys, since I am one after all, they would be somewhere where they could stuff their big mouths and burp till dawn and discuss manly stuff, just like me before. Hee hee.  
  
At the doorway, I paused and peeked. Yup, the boys on my list were there. All of them, even the horrible Slytherin ones.  
  
I walked closer, and saw that the Gryffindor boys were also discussing all about the dance.  
  
Dean: Hey guys, who ya takin' to the dance???  
  
Seamus: Well, secretly between you men, I snagged me a real winner!  
  
Harry: Really now??  
  
Seamus: Yup! I got me Lavvie!!  
  
Harry: You mean Lavender?!? You are so lucky!!  
  
Ron: ..  
  
Poor Seamus. Okay, he's off the list.  
  
Seamus: Yup!!! Who you guys takin'??  
  
Dean: Parvati.  
  
Off the list.  
  
Harry: Ginny.  
  
Off the list.  
  
Neville: Uh,. Hannah.  
  
Off the list. Wow.  
  
Ron:.  
  
Off the-wait!  
  
Harry: Ron?? Who are you taking??  
  
Ron: .Well.  
  
Okay, who IS he taking?? Is he going solo. My whiskers twitch in excitement. At least, until the evil pale git arrives in the scene.  
  
Draco: So, what are the Gryffindor geeks discussing now??  
  
Grr.. the kid's got moxie, I have to admit, but he's also got a heart of stone and a brain of lead.  
  
Harry: None of your business Malfoy.  
  
Neville: Y-yeah..  
  
Draco: Oh really?? What could you geeks be discussing anyway?? Something droll I suppose.  
  
Okay, droll I have no idea what it mean, but I don't like it. I moved in, closer and eavesdropped.  
  
Dean: Just so you know you slimy pus ball, we're talking about the dance, and about all the girls we're taking.  
  
Draco: Really?? What girl would go with you simpletons anyway??  
  
Harry: Apparently those who have good taste.  
  
Score one for Harry. You go Potter!!  
  
Draco: PFUIT! Whatever!  
  
Ron: ...  
  
Hmm, Ron's awfully quiet. I wonder why.  
  
Draco: I'm leaving you, spineless chicken boys..  
  
Chicken boys huh?? We'll see about that. I felt the earth, well, more like the ground, and unleashed my deadly claws, before letting out my battle cry and sinking these babies into Malfoy's sweet patootie.  
  
The Gryiffindors could only stare in shock and amusement as Malfoy was screaming his head off with me behind him. I heard the laughs and cheers and felt really proud of myself. At the door, I let go of Malfoy and admired the holes I left in his uniform.  
  
Hah! Take that you slimy git.  
  
Okay, They're all off the list. All except...  
  
OH dear.  
  
I think I know..  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter 3

Crookshanks to the Rescue  
  
***  
  
note: '''= animals are talking  
  
***  
  
Okay, so, my conclusion is that, I think Ron likes Hermione. I think. That was the only thought in my little head as I walked up the stairs right behind the boys. They were all talking excitedly and noisily, even when it was already bed time, well, most of them anyway, Ron was quiet as a- I'm not saying it again! I'm still hungry.  
  
Waah..  
  
Okay, Ron was quiet, everyone else is noisy, conclusion?? I have no idea why he's so quiet. He's usually one of the noisiest. I looked up at his face, and notice he looked deep in thought, his brows showed concentration and his eyes showed obliviousness.  
  
Who OR What is he thinking of??  
  
I must know!! Maybe someone does.  
  
And I just know who that someone is..  
  
***  
  
Okay, I must be crazy, very crazy! I need to have my head checked. I can't believe I actually let Pigwidgeon out of the trunk. Because right after I did, he went nuts again and screeched and screamed about stuff I don't know and don't care. The only way to shut him up was to pretend that I was going to eat him. ' Alright!!! Pig! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna eat you!!!!' I snarled flashing my teeth at him as he twittered and tweeted like a..crazy little bird.  
  
He looked at me, and finally settled down. ' Yes sir.' He squeaked, obviously afraid of my pearly whites. Did I mention he's only a kid?? I reckon, about 10 years old in human years. Me? I'm a good 24 I think. Remember, I'm an animagus. ' So mister?? Why'd you let me out?? Huh huh huh???' he asked as he excitedly hopped beside me. Not this again.  
  
I glared at him, he was still smiling, and I held up three of my paw fingers. ' One: I only let you out for love reasons. Two: I need your help in something. And three: I am not a mister!!!!' I hated being called mister because I feel so OLD. When I finished, Pig's eyes were big and puppy like. ' You love me??' he croaked wiping away a tear with his wing. ' NO!!!!' Stupid kid!!! He should go to school!!  
  
' Aww, come on mister!! Show some love!!!' he said, sounding very much like a black American preacher/priest thing. Oh brother.  
  
' Kid.' I turned to face him. He was still looking at me innocently. Ooh, how I hate that look!!!  
  
I wanted to kill him, eat him, right here, right now, but I'm a softie. I can't resist those puppy eyes. Dammit!!  
  
' Okay, I need a favor concerning Ron.' I began with a calm tone. ' Ron!!! A favor?!?! Neat!!!! What?? Huh?? Huh???' he said eagerly, bouncing up and down again and with his eyes shining. If I were an anime character,( okay, anime is a Japanese toon, got that?? Hermione watches this stuff at home, particularly one about a girl and boy, Aya and Touya I think, and this cartoon sends her to tears) I would have a big sweat drop right now.  
  
Seems the kid went a little overboard on the sweets.  
  
' Okay! Shut up!' I snarled glaring dangerously at him. I hated his noise! He shut up and sat down, still looking innocent. ' do you know anything " romantic" that Ron writes? You know, something like, a poem or a letter??'  
  
Okay, I know you're curious right now, well let me explain. I can conclude that Ron must be in love. How? HELLO! Silence, dreamy look, obliviousness to everything? Write him up Cupid! I think that he must like Hermione or something, you don't believe?? Need proof??  
  
They often fight, and they say: You always hurt the ones you love.  
  
They are together when Harry isn't there.  
  
Ron stood up for Hermione when Draco called her mudblood. This I got from Hedwig.  
  
They look good together okay?!?! You are sooo demanding.  
  
He looked at me curiously. ' Why??' he chirped. Okay, come on Crookshanks, think of a good one. ' Uh, please??' Oh, yeah, brilliant one!!!! He smiled at me, as if the reason was good enough. ' Okay!!!!' Freak.  
  
I watched him, I love watching stuff in case you didn't notice, as he flapped his little wings and soared to Ron's trunk. He landed on some of Ron' clothes and shuffled through. Did I mention that it was already night and the kids were sleeping by the way?? Anyway, Pig disappeared under the mass of clothes, and there I was, waiting for him to come out with something good.  
  
After five minutes, I think, he finally came out, carrying a scroll, one he could actually carry, in his tiny feet. ' Well?? Is this something Ron wrote??' I asked impatiently. He landed and nodded. ' Something you wouldn't expect him to write though.' He said, tearing away the rubber band holding the scroll together. He finally undid it, and the scroll gave way, rolling out and becoming a parchment. Eager for the contents, I read the contents.  
  
And boy, were they shocking!!  
  
My dear  
  
By: Red  
  
Nice alias Ron.  
  
Oh my dear Hermione,  
  
Will you ever learn to love me??  
  
No less than a lover, but more than a friend,  
  
Even if you don't, I'll love you to the very end.  
  
Did you know that whenever you walk down the hall,  
  
I think you're the prettiest of all??  
  
I want you to know, that I love you,  
  
Till the earth is gone, and till the sky is blue.  
  
Sniffle. Beautiful!!!!  
  
TBC  
  
Okay, not much here huh?? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this because I enjoyed writing this. Tell if you like, Flames are very much welcome. 


	4. Chapter 4

Crookshanks to the rescue  
  
***  
  
' Hey, Mister, why you cryin'??' Pig suddenly chirped. ' Gyah! Don't do that you little feather ball!! And I'm not crying!' I exclaimed angrily. I hated being surprised. Maybe Ron won't mind if I eat him. ' Then, what are you doing??' he asked crossing his wings over his chest. ' Getting dust out of my eye.' I replied crisply, knowing he would buy it since he's kind of, okay, VERY, dumb.  
  
' Really??' he asked wide-eyed. ' Duh. Adults don't cry kid.' I muttered staring at the poem Ron supposedly wrote. He then stared at me weirdly. ' You're an adult??' He's lucky you can't imprison a minor. ' Uh, yes??' ' Oh.'  
  
' Anyway, you SURE Ron wrote this poem??' I asked changing the subject about my age. He nodded promptly as a reply. ' Yup.' He added. ' Sure kid??' I asked to make sure because Ron might have just plagiarized this poem off some book his mom owned. ' Yeah Mister.' He said. ' Didn't plagiarize??' ' What's that??' ' Never mind.'  
  
Judging from the tone of his voice, innocent and air headed as usual, he must be confident that Ron DIDN'T copy the poem. Oh my God.  
  
' Geez man! I didn't know he could be such a poet laureate!' I exclaimed in surprise and fascination. ' What's a poo-et looriate??' Pig chirped. ' Someone who writes very good poems.' You gotta keep things simple when explaining to dumb kids like Pig. ' I see.'  
  
Okay, I can officially conclude that Ron likes Hermione. They're cute together. If they get married, Ron might like me! If they DO get married, I'll be related to Pig. NOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
Oh well, some sacrifices are worth the world right?? Right??? I think I'm going insane.  
  
Right then, I got my gears working together to think up of a brilliant plan to brilliantly unite Ron and Hermione together because I have a brilliant brain. To get the plan, I began to reflect and remember all the romantic movies I saw, they all had plots that brought two people together. Hey! I'm not saying I WATCH them, uh, Hermione does!! I just sneak a peek when I'm deathly bored.  
  
Hmm, maybe, Hermione can be a courtesan like Satine, and Ron can be a love- struck writer and Harry can be the evil scary guy with the top hat!!! Nah, too complicated, besides, where am I going to get a windmill at this time?? Maybe, Hermione can become a maid in a hotel and Ron can be a famous person guy thingy. Nope, kids aren't allowed to do labor. Arg! Think Crookshanks! Think! You're a genius! You can figure out a simple plan to bring two kids together, you can do this! I will survive!  
  
.  
  
Nothing. Darn. Where's Snuffles when you need the big hairy beast??  
  
Okay, maybe I can get them together in a more simple way, like they give each other gifts! Yeah! Okay, I know what Hermione can give Ron, but what can he give her?? I decided to ask the only person I knew could help.  
  
***  
  
' Hedwig!!!!!!' I yelled at the tower of owls. I waited for her to come out, I had to ask her something. After what seemed like minutes, or forever!!!! Females, always late, she came out through the window, looking quite irritated.  
  
' Crookshanks?? What do you want???' she demanded angrily before she gave out a big yawn. 'I was enjoying my beauty sleep.' She muttered rubbing her eyes with a wing. Thank God Pig's not here since I locked him up in the chest again.  
  
' Okay, Hed, I need to ask you something, just a quickie.' I said. ' Sure, whatever." She muttered yawning again. ' Well, what's your question Crook??' she asked. Okay, what is my question again?? Oh yeah, ' What do girls like??' ' Why are you asking??' ' No reason.' I shrugged.  
  
Okay, since I didn't know what girls like, I decided to ask one. I couldn't ask Mrs. Norris since she's mean and nasty to me. Errol says she likes me. EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
' Well,' Hedwig began thoughtfully. ' Girls like cute and sweet things, like bunnies and stuff like that. They also like anything involving their looks, like make-up, clothes, you name it. They also enjoy talking about boys, fashion, etc. That's why you often see them buying those magazines.' ' Wait, how do you know this stuff?? You're not even owned by a muggle!' I asked. Sure, it sounded weird, I mean, how could she know all this stuff if she's not even muggle-owned??  
  
Hedwig gave me a sly smile and simply replied with a small flap of her wings, ' I've been around the world kid, I've seen a lot of stuff.' Kid?? I ain't no kid!!! Okay, she's only a year or two older than me, but it still doesn't give her the right to call me such, I'm supposed to call Pig that! ' I'm not a kid.' I protested pouting. ' Sure you're not.' She rolled her eyes.  
  
Okay, I gotta get outta here, I don't wanna feel so young anymore. I gave a sharp nod, before walking off, my feet, er, paws sinking slightly in the soft snow. ' One more thing!!' she yelled as she headed back to the owlery tower. ' Girls like jewels!!!!'  
  
Girls like jewels huh??  
  
Heh, I thinks I gots a plan to bring these two crazy kids together..  
  
*** TBC 


	5. Chapter 5

Crookshanks to the Rescue  
  
***  
  
Pig looked at me with that usual blank (stupid!!!) stare of his. ' Mister kitty, can you say that again, pweese??' he requested sucking one his wing feathers like a baby to a pacifier. I sighed and gritted my teeth. Stupid kid!!! This is already the 56th time I'm going to say this!! And the last that's for sure. ' Pig.' I began in my sickest sweetest tone. ' This thing I'm telling you, is about the plan to bring Ron and Hermione TO-GE-THER.' Another blank stare. ' Who are they??' he asked innocently.  
  
Oh my God.  
  
' Tall kid with red hair and freckles, and another with big bushy hair and big teeth.' I replied dully. ' Anyways, you know the plan, give the tall one the gift.' I reached underneath my chin and brought out a small thin package. This small package contains the one gift that Ron will die for. ' and lead him to the water fountain, there.' I gave the little pest the package and pointed outside to the water fountain situated in the middle of Hogwarts Grounds.  
  
Pig oohed as he accepted the package and he asked me with his eyes shining: ' OOH!!!! What is it?? The gift for Ram???' ' It's Ron Pig.' I corrected. ' Whatever' he squeaked studying the pack carefully. ' It's a wizard card.' I said when he looked at me again questioningly. ' Of who??' ' The one wizard card Ron don't got in his collection. Aleric Pretuchio.' ' Who???' squeaked Pig. ' The dude who invented chocolate frogs and other famous wizard candies.' I replied jumping off the ledge.  
  
In case you're wondering, we were in the common room, sitting on the ledge next to the window facing the grounds. I waggled my tail and went of, but not before staying in my sternest voice to Pig: ' Remember to give him the package. AND HIM ONLY PIG.' Pig nodded with a smile, and got the card in his little beak, and flew off looking for Ron. Or in his case, the tall redheaded freckled kid, and I'm not talking Archie Andrews here.  
  
And where am I going you ask???  
  
Well, I'm going to give Hermione "Ron's gift". A book on advanced hexes and spells, which she's supposed to learn in seventh year though she ain't there yet, and it was wrapped in red and gold wrapping, gryffindor colors. ( don't ask where I got either. I have my sources. And I know just the place where I could fine the bookworm.  
  
Library, duh..  
  
***  
  
The book was big and thick, so I had it on my back, I have a good sense of balance. And I was humming 'Staying Alive' while climbing up the stairs to the library, when I saw another feline at the top. It was Mrs. Norris, and she was looking down at me *admirably*. 'Hey Crookshanks.' She greeted shyly as I grunted going up the top. I licked my aching left paw and said without as much as looking at her: ' Hey MN.'  
  
' Where're you going??' she inquired standing in my path, her usually serious face now in a sweet smile. ' Library.' I replied brushing past her shoulder. Tsk. Pesky woman. She stopped me again, and said cuddling me (AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!): ' You know Crook, I love cats who are intellects.' ' I thought you liked those who were vicious and nasty.' I muttered dryly.  
  
' Oh, that was before, now, I love the smart ones, like you..' She purred getting closer. Okay, what's happening here??? ' Sorry, I gotta go..' I pushed her away and ran up ahead as fast as I could before she could recover from her daze.  
  
What was that?? What's wrong with her?? Can any girl tell me what the funky heck that was about?? Females, I swear I'll never understand them. Hmm. Maybe I ca talk to Sirius soon about females, and ask him about that behavior, the one Mrs. N just freakily showed me.  
  
Never mind that, I just saw the library.  
  
***  
  
Aha. Just as I expected. There she is reading again. Poor girl, she's gotta get a social life. Badly. I sighed and strolled in, hopefully, that awful librarian won't toss me out again. Last time I entered, she threw a fit and threw a really big book at me as I panicked and ran away. I hope the old bat is dead, personally.  
  
I neared the table where she was seated, the one full of books and a single oil lamp on top of the biggest pile. She was busy doing her homework again I see, seriously, someone has to get this kid a life. Hermione was hunched over a bunch of books, armed with a *deadly* quill dipped in red ink and jutting down whatever info she found in the books. Argh. She's ignoring me again.  
  
I clear my throat, gotta make a perfect pathetic mewl. I did it, and Hermione looked down at me, surprised to find me right next to her in a library with something on my back. She smiled at me, and picked me up. " Hi sweetie." She crooned placing me on her soft lap. I purred and looked at what she was writing. The history of hexes.fascinating.  
  
I looked up and noticed Hermione noticed the package. (did that sound right to you?) " What's this?" she muttered removing the pack from my back. Oi, thank Dumbledore. The book was about to give me osteoporosis. Hermione looked at the red and gold wrapping, and laid me down on the floor, so she could have ease at opening the gift. She did so carefully. And gasped at what she saw.  
  
" Merlin's beard!!! What a wonderful gift!!!" she squealed throwing the wrapping at the floor, and hugging the book. Heh, knew she'd like it. " But who's it from??" she wondered. Didn't she see the note yet?? Hermione opened the book, flipped a couple of pages, and a piece of paper fell at her lap. Oh, so that's where I put it.  
  
Hermione picked up the paper, and read it aloud: " ' Dear Hermione, if you want to know who your secret admirer is, meet me at the water fountain at the grounds tonight. Don't be late. And do not worry, I won't be late myself. Signed: Your true love' ." Yes!!!!! The plan is going smoothly. Oh, I forgot to mention my ' Get R and H together' plan did I??? Here's how it goes:  
  
Part 1: Give Pig the gift for Ron.  
  
2: Give Hermione the gift.  
  
3: The two meet at the fountain.  
  
4: Fall in love, and you know the rest!!!!! @_@  
  
Hermione tapped her chin thoughtfully, and turned to me. " Crookshanks, do you think I should go??" she rubbed me behind the ears. That felt good. I purred, and nodded promptly.  
  
***  
  
Okay, part 3 is in action. I'm here on the fountain, sitting with Hermione, who is nervously twiddling her thumbs. She's pretty much hoping that her admirer actually comes. I'm also hoping. I'm here not only to comfort her, but also to make sure Pig doesn't screw up.  
  
It's cold out here, but I'm sure Ron's gonna arrive soon.  
  
Three minutes..  
  
Ten minutes..  
  
Fifteen...  
  
Twenty-five.  
  
Argh. Where the funky heck are they?? Late. I growled. I'm freezing out here!!!!! Where's Pig??? Did he forget again??? AGGGHHH!!!! I'm cold! I'm Cold! *I looked at Hermione, and she was looking as disappointed as I am freezing. " Oh Crook, I don't think he's coming." she muttered sadly. Yeah, I agree sister. I mewl and rest my head on her lap. We should be in the common room right now, bet Percy the prude is looking for us.  
  
" AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"  
  
A scream rattled the air, which very, very much caught both our attention. The noise came from the castle. Who was being murdered???  
  
We turned to left, since it seemed that's where the noise is coming from, and saw Ron. Ron was running, flailing his arms wildly and screaming as Pig was pecking his face furiously. What the heck are ya doing Pig???? " Get Pig offa me!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron howled running towards us.  
  
Hermione was in shock, and she stood up to face Ron. " Ron?? What are you doing?? Are you my admirer???" she asked loudly. Ron neared us, and ignored Hermione's question. He ran right by her, still screaming with Pig still pecking, and pushed Hermione.right into the fountain.  
  
ACK!!!!!!  
  
I screamed and closed my eyes, as all I hear was a loud splash and a gasp. I opened one after a moment, and saw Hermione, sitting in the fountain, soaking wet with her mouth and eyes open in shock. Ron was standing next to the fountain, just as shocked. Pig squeaked, and flew off into a tree.  
  
I growled and followed him. I saw him atop the closest, and followed him up. He was perched on one branch, panting and gasping, and I demanded angrily. ' Pig what happened out there???' Pig looked at me, and said: ' Well.Ron was late 'cause he got detention, and so to speed him up, I pecked his face. I thought it would do better.'  
  
Better?? Better???? BETTER??? He calls that better?!?!?!?! The big idiot!!!! I felt ready to explode. ' You idiot!!!!' I roared turning furious red. ' You call that better????!?!?!' I pointed with one claw to Hermione, as red as me, yelling at Ron, and calling him irresponsible and stupid. Poor Ron was cowering underneath her *wet* rage. " I don't care if you are my admirer or my friend!!!!" snapped Hermione. She stood tall before Ron, and gave him a sharp and swift slap across the face. Ron was thrown back, and was staring at Hermione, stunned. " You're an irresponsible, childish and immature dolt who can't keep the time, and you're a liar!!!!!! I hate you!!!!!! Our relationship as friends is now and forever, gone!!! Terminated!!!! Good bye!!!!!!"  
  
TBC 


End file.
